Thank you

I just want to take a moment and thank the many people who share amazing gifts with me. Gifts like love, listening, and treating me like a real person who is human and many times makes awful mistakes, yet forgive me for such failings. I have been especially thankful for the lovely conversations I have had this past week with wonderful people about art, books, food and music, with very little about the state of trans activism. Thank you for this break.

When cats are forced to celebrate holidays

Graham is thinking about escape, but this holiday shirt will give him away on the streets. At least it's not an ugly Christmas sweater.

Sunset on Snow Day

 

 

Snow Day

Means loading up the breadmaker for fresh loaf of honey wheat bread, laundry, and puttering... lots of puttering. I am starting my two vacation, this will be my first consecutive two weeks off without homework, being at a residency for school, or overlapping with a conference since 2007. I have plans, probably more than I have time for all that I want to do, but it will be delicious not to be trying to keep all the balls in the air for a two weeks.

I will be going to Vermont for a few days to visit friends, going out to a few clubs and parties, and organizing my home office. I never really did organize my office when we moved, I just kind of dumped everything on the desk. So its time to toss, archive, file, and clear off some surfaces.

 

Here is a shot of Goddard's Campus from February 2007

I also just got a new lens for my old school film camera - Nikon N70. I am going to go buy some film (do they still sell film?) this week and go out and about to do some shooting. Of course I will have to get it developed at CVS or something, but it will be fun to use the camera anyways.

Season's Greetings from the White House

I went to the post office box this morning to get MTPC's mail and along with some returned fund raising letters was this heavy cream colored envelop embossed with "The White House." Inside was a Season's Greetings Card from Barack and Michelle Obama... Okay I swooned just a little as it was addressed to me. I made it onto the "list" now maybe I will be invited to one of those state dinners... as transgender person it would be unwise for me to crash one.

 

 

More pics from San Fran

I know its been almost week since I went, but I got the rest of the photos uploaded and wanted to share. Overall, I had good time in San Francisco, but I am not sure if I would want to live there. There are three different bus/subway lines that cross over Oakland and San Fran and they all require a different pass or exact change, that is a bit crazy.

 

I did have lunch with the only other queer from my high school (that is out) and it was fantastic to see him. We met in the Castro for sushi. He is quite funny and very sweet, hopefully we will catch up when he is back in Mass for Xmas with his family. I totally missed him playing though (he is still a musician)  as I had already committed to going to K'vetch with folks from the Equality Federation board meeting I was attending.

 

 

 

K'vetch was a throw back for me. There were some folks that read that I had read at Gender Crash so long ago and much like Gender Crash was there was the good, the bad, and wow open mic pieces.
On my last day of sightseeing before the board meeting I went to the San Fransisco Museum of Modern Art.

 

 

 

 

Where am I today...

I am at Google's office in Cambridge learning about all their free products for non-profits. Hopefully, I will get some new tools for organizing MTPC and my work. This is timely as I am currently (or really never ending) drowning in emails and phone calls to return. I currently use many google products including having a phone that is google enabled.

At lunchtime, I was at the State House at the Commonwealth Seminar end of the year event with the keynote from Gov. Deval Patrick. The Commonwealth Seminar provides legislative training, networking opportunities with top policymakers, and public service job opportunities for diverse leaders in Massachusetts. I hope to build a relationship with this organization in order to get transgender folks into the trainings, myself included.

Where will I be tomorrow? Hopefully in my office catching up on all those emails and phone calls.

I took off for the west coast and encountered an orange toe biting furball

I am in San Fransisco, technically for my third time, but my first trip was for less than 36 hours and my second - I spent really in Oakland, in a hotel conference room and only ate dinner in San Fran on my way to the airport. This time I have two days to site see and then I will be stuck in a hotel conference room. So today, the big plan was to get to the Golden Gate Bridge, by public transit. That was a feat in itself, the maps at the stations - not so helpful and the tour books gave suggested public transit routes, but I felt like I was going in circles until I took out my phone with GPS.

Let me tell you I fell in love with my phone all over again, I put in my destination and hit the directions on transit and BAM! bus routes right from where I was standing... told me which bus to get on, what bus to change to about how long each ride would take. I got myself all over the place with that handy GPS and google maps feature, even back to where I a staying in Oakland. Granted, I missed my bus stop by 4 blocks, but that was my fault, I couldn't see the street signs in the dark.

So for $12 Bart fare and $2 bus ride I went to from Oakland to Golden Gate Bridge, to Russian Hill, to Chinatown, to Union Square, and back to Oakland. Cheaper than a rental car or zip car. I even managed to find a Trader Joe's along the way and pick up some dried mango and chocolate.

Some shots from today

 

 

 

 

 

 

Seriously... it was Wednesday an hour ago

I totally let this week slip away. I am leaving for San Fransisco in about 12 hours and I still needed to do laundry, pack, organize, figure out where I am going and how I am going to get around while I am there... oh yeah breathe. Not to mention some transphobic BS blowing up just before I left the office that required some attention and time... breathe.

Fred is beside himself with the sight of my bag packed, pacing, chirping, and pushing things over. He is more bonded to me... for this cat, I am his person.

I hope he doesn't act up and tear up the place while I am gone.

World AIDS Day 2009

I attended the Medicine Wheel at the Cyclorama earlier this evening with a friend who had never been before. It seemed so bright in there this year in past years I remember it feeling dimly lit which made the space seem more intimate. The space feeling larger and brighter was probably because the installation consisted of quite a bit of black ink block prints on white paper. It still quieted my heart to be there.

My favorite cousin died of AIDS during what I call the first wave, the early years. He was the older one, probably 17 when the rest of cousins were still under 10 years old. I didn't find out he had died until almost ten years after his death. No one ever talked about him being gay, let alone be dying of some new virus. It wasn't until his father's funeral, my uncle, did we find out, in quiet whispers in the back room of the funeral parlor, that he was gay and that he had died in the 80's of that "gay disease" - like it was dirty secret.

What is the dirty secret that needs to be told is the number of transgender people, most being transgender women, that have died of AIDS or who are living with HIV, but we never hear about them. Mostly, because that data is wrapped up in with the same data collected for those labeled MSM - Men who have sex with men. Not exactly the label I would use for someone who is MTF, not even close. As for FTM's well we are almost completely invisible, yet I keeping meeting FTMs who are living with HIV more and more. 

AIDS is still killing us.

 

No photos today, but...

I did have a pretty amazing dinner with a friend. I like food and food I think, likes me, maybe a bit too much. Anyways, I had the "Italian butcher block with cheeses" small plate at Ivy - with a fig & cherry balsamic compote, assorted fruits, toasted almonds, sweet chili honey, a selection of cheeses, grilled crostini, and a warm goat cheese crouton.

The goat cheese crouton was amazing, crispy on the outside and warm and slightly melted on the inside, a very upscale version of the "fried mozzarella stick" without all the heavy oily feeling of it. I also loved the fig & cherry balsamic compote especially on the rustic bread. I was not crazy about the honey with sweet chili, the chili overpowered it a bit much. The meats were okay, one nice salami, but the other looked and tasted like sandwich meat from my 6th grade school lunches. A prosciutto would have been a better choice, especially for the price. 

My dinner companion had a house salad feled greens, kalamata olives, artichokes, roasted cherry tomatoes, and a goat cheese crostini which looked good and not skimpy. We also shared a black pepper tuna, which was seared and served rare, it was quite good.

No dessert, but overall it was good choice for quick bit after work.

Concepts, creativity, and hopefully drama

I have decided I must come up with some kind of photographic concept for slide show film-esque piece similar to how Nan Golden first presented The Ballad of Sexual Dependency. She showed the slides continuously with a backdrop of music and let the images tell a story, as images should. I don't want the theme to be the same as hers, just the concept of showing it.


I spent the afternoon taking a bunch of shots in the Arboretum, mostly of tree bark. It is so textual. With winter fast approaching the colors were mostly grey, brown and misty and the trees looked like spindly arms reaching out towards the sky.

After wandering around I came up with contrasting and comparing layers that surround living things, like trees, pets, humans, and plants... that one is a maybe. The second idea was based off the idea of a birthday party, that one will need some willing souls to model for it.

Where did last month go

The last few weeks have been hectic with Trans Awareness Week, seeing the amazing Kate Borstein, Trans Day of Remembrance, and criss-crossing a Massachusetts a few times in one week. Now, I am recovering from Thanksgiving, which includes making various dishes that include turkey, like soup, pot pie, and anything else I can safely hide turkey in.

Last month I replaced my six year old digital camera, it was high tech at the time with a 3.2 megapixels, my current cell phone camera has more megapixels. So like I do for all gadget purchases, I research what what is out there and who likes what. I then go to the store and circle the camera counter for about an hour checking out all the features, realizing the one I thought I was going to buy relies on old school batteries, so knock that off the list, until I finally settle on a 12.2 megapixel Fuji. It is almost the exact same size as my old camera, but much more features and bigger LCD screen. I have been at the store for a good 40 minutes.

This is the type of place you need a sales associate to come over and get the merchandise for you. The whole time I was circling there were 2-3 sales people where right near by, but as soon as I want to pay for something, they ignore me. First, I thought okay they are just busy, but when I approached one he turned away from me and walked over to a couple that had not even made it to the counter yet. I stood waiting 10, 15, 20 minutes, then I thought why should I give these guys my money, why should they get a commission from my sale. I walked out and drove to another store where I was immediately helped.

Overall, I like the camera, I mean it's no digital slr, but for a point and shoot it works. Of course I have to remember to take pictures now and then.

Can a self-described work-a-holic be overworked?

I think I could literally work 24 hours a day seven days a week and still not completely clear my to do list. Working for transgender rights and fighting against discrimination takes a lot of time and resources. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, but I have no down time, ever. I know that many folks take those quick internet breaks to check facebook or whatever, but I don't even have time for that, there is just too much to do for one person. Part of the problem is that I want to do everything, because the issues that affect my community are just so huge and need to be tackled. The other part of the problem is that I am a self-diagnosed work-a-holic. Lastly, the issues that affect my community are so huge and so varied that they need more than one person who full-time paid job is devoted to this. It is true I have several talented and dedicated volunteers and interns that do an amazing amount of work, but the need/demand is greater than the current resources.

What triggered this micro burst? I was just trying to clean out my in box. I did get down from over 4500 emails to just below 3900, progress for 12:30 am. So some of my friends and colleagues will wake up to a long over due email tomorrow morning and others, well they are still waiting.

Narratives

I am having writer's block or I am just tired, could be a little of both. I am pondering an essay about the announcement of Chaz Bono writing a memoir about his transition... mostly because I am feeling mixed about this. Is there a need for another transperson medical transition narrative? I am sure someone is screaming "YES, it is a good educational tool!"

I am not so convinced, I just don't think we need to justify ourselves in order to put non-transpeople at ease, to make them comfortable with us. Shoot, I am doing quite enough just to be comfortable with myself, let alone the rest of the world.

I would personally like to read about trans folks lives after the "coming out and the medical transition" narrative. There must be something interesting about us after we have transitioned, like how for some of us we lose our incomes and our class standing. For others, we gain some measure of privilege, but it too can be taken away if we are outed. But that's just me...

I will ponder this some more.

Coakley for U.S. Senate, yes…

In response to last week's column by Jeff Epperly in Bay Windows newspaper


Letter to the Editor:


I think that Jeff Epperly needs a reality check when it comes to recognizing the all work Martha Coakley has done for the LGBT community as State Attorney General. First, when Martha Coakley was the Middlesex District Attorney she reached out to and built relationships with LGBT domestic violence programs like the one I was working for at the time, The Network/La Red. Standing up for survivors of same-sex domestic violence doesn’t happen nearly enough in the LGBT community, let alone with the larger criminal justice system, but that was something Martha Coakley just did.

Second, as State Attorney General, Martha Coakley came out early for transgender civil rights as the first statewide elected official to publicly supporting “An Act Relative to Gender-Based Discrimination and Hate Crimes.” In addition to supporting the transgender civil rights bill, since taking office she has sought civil rights injunctions in numerous cases involving hate crimes against LGBT victims. This included obtaining a civil rights injunction against two men who attacked a transgender teenage in a Dorchester pizza shop. Typically, transgender people, especially young people, are ignored by our criminal justice system, but this has not been the case with Martha Coakley.

Additionally, the staff in her office respond to every referral I have made regarding situations of mistreatment and discrimination against members of the transgender community. This type of action from her staff reflects Martha Coakley’s own strong commitment to the LGBT community and serving those whose voices are not always represented. I feel that Martha Coakley stands up for those who have traditionally been shut out of the system. Whether they are victims of violence, transgender teens, or same-sex couples that seek to have their relationships recognized by our federal government, she has been a strong advocate as our State Attorney General. No one will ever be Senator Kennedy, but I strongly believe that Martha Coakley will continue in the role of advocating for those who are less privileged, for all the citizens of Massachusetts, and in the best interests of the Commonwealth as our Senator in Washington DC.

This represents my own opinion and not that of any organization I work for or have worked for.

Welcome

I have been called "blunt," "intimidating," and "serious" by those that only know me through my trans activist work, but my friends would probably say that I am bit dorky, funny, and not at all like my pictures. Well I am not sure about all that, but I am definitely not a WWF wrestler. You might have thought that Brent Allbright's manager might have googled "Gunner Scott" before suggesting it has new stage name for the wrestler. Well either way he gave up that stage name and I stopped getting emails from 14 year boys wanting to know the latest wresting moves. My usual response to such emails was "I am sorry but I am not the wrestler Gunner Scott, but actually the transgender activist Gunner Scott. For more information about transgenderism please visit Gender Talk's definition page Transgenderism: Transgressing Gender Norms" 

As you might imagine, I don't think I won any new fans with these kids, but it was fun while it lasted.  Now that I have gotten the url gunnerscott.com away from the impostor it brings you to this, a blog. How often will I write? Depends on how much of my time isn't sucked by stupid people doing mean things to trans people and me having to write, call, email, or yell at them for doing it. What will I write about?

Well, I will probably mention my cats, Fred and Bert, at least every other blog post and the rest... I guess that will depend on what I am either cranky or happy about it. Anyways... maybe I will take requests about topics or maybe I will just go on about the joys of my bread maker. I figure if I could have written 304 pages for BA thesis I can get out at least a handful sentences for this blog.

If your an editor of some kind of academic journal and want to publish a thesis about the 2007 ENDA implosion, trans people being written out of gay rights history, and the work of transgender activists of today, email me about the thesis. Otherwise it lives on shelf in the Goddard College library.